Nothing Else Matters
by Criss Shadows
Summary: The title explains it all... this is an angsty fic, so you all have been warned! Story better than summary.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters... they all belong to J.K. Rowling

Prologue

Harry sat. Staring at the blade in his right hand. You would never guess that, this cold, smooth, metal blade could cause so much. It hovered above his left wrist before he pushed down. It wasn't painful nor deep. So, he moved down and made another cut. It was slightly deeper than the first.

He was rewarded with a few crimson drops, but, it wasn't enough. So, he did it again. And again. And again. Cutting deeper and deeper. Focusing on the pain; drowning out all thoughts. He looked at his left arm. All marred up and covered in blood. There was a river of blood; what he wanted. He was beginning to fade in and out of consciousness. He lifted his right hand to strike his arm once more, when he heard a voice.

This was not how it was supposed to be. He was supposed to be dead when he was found. Who had come and ruined his wonderful plan? Too tired to say anything, he hoped that the person hated him enough to leave him be. At this last thought, he passed out.

A/N: This is my first ever fanfiction. Please tell me what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Nothing Else Matters

Chapter One: Cry Alone, I've Gone Away

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters...

A/N: I will not update as quickly because I have to get the plot down... I have three chapters but they are under revision... Oh, and if you are wondering about the titles of the chapters, they are lyrics to an Avenged Sevenfold song 'I Won't See You Tonight Part One.' It's a beautiful song and I recommend it to anyone.

Also I think I've said this before, but this is my first fanfiction... so please don't flame me too bad... Now, on with the story!

Harry sat up. A little too quickly and his head began to swim. He laid back and scrunched his eyes up from the pain. "Harry! Y-You're awake!" The familiar voice of Hermione came floating to him from the distance.

"Hermione?" Although, he already knew the answer to that question. He covered his hand with his eyes. Shutting out all light.

"Yes?" He could her the crack in her voice, and he could tell she was on the verge of tears. "Erm, how are you feeling, Harry?" How could he answer her? Tired, crazy, or sick? All of his memories came flooding back to him. _She knows, _he thought. She had to know. Harry moved his hand from his head and looked at his arm. It was wrapped in white bandages, with red spots here and there. He looked at her. Her eyes were puffy as if she had been crying. He didn't know what to say to her. He felt a lump form in his throat when he tried to speak. He tried to swallow it, but it ended up becoming bigger and heavier.

Although she was smiling, her face betrayed her emotions. She was terrified. Her smile, was sad more than happy. Just at that moment, Madame Promfrey entered the room. She ushered Hermione out of the room so that she could perform her duties for Harry. "You should be out of here by tomorrow. Consider yourself lucky." That was all she said and she left. She didn't give Harry enough time to even as her a question.

Hermione re-entered the room with extra company. "Hey mate," Ron's voice wafted through the air as he crossed the room. Harry grabbed his glasses off the bedside table and put them on. B the look on Ron's face, he knew too. _Why did I have to survive to see this? _Harry thought. He put on a fake smile for both of his friends. While Hermione sat down in a chair by the bed, Ron stood uncomfortably at the edge of the bed, as if he dared neared him any closer, Harry would break. "Hi, Ron," was all that Harry could manage to force out. It was then he realized how dry his throat was. He reached over to the night stand and grabbed for the glass of water.

"I have all your homework for you," Ron said as he looked at Harry's bandaged, but marred left arm. When their eyes met, Ron had a guilty look in his eyes. As if he had been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to.

"Ron, you didn't have to do that, I appreciate the gesture and all, but I've only been out for a day." With this said, Ron and Hermione exchanged knowing glances. It made Harry feel anxious. Something was wrong. "What?"

"Harry," she began. "Um, well, it's been... a, um, week since," -she faltered on her words as she choked back her tears- "since-" she began again, but couldn't finish. She opted to cry instead.

"A week?" That night, felt like a far away memory or imagination to Harry. Like it didn't happen at all, or never existed. But who had saved him? He knew that neither Hermione or Ron had done so themselves. They were still eating when he left. Who had brought him back from the verge of death to bring him here? Who had saved him? Who?


	3. Chapter 3

Nothing Else Matters

By: Criss Shadows

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters...

A/N: Hey, sorry I haven't been able to update. Term papers due and everything. I think that this chapter should be longer than the others and I hope that you will enjoy the chapter. And I have been working on a play. I don't have a leading role, but it's big enough.

* * *

Chapter 2: No More Nights, No More Pain

* * *

For the next two weeks, Harry wasn't left alone. Hermione and Ron took care of that. He couldn't even go to the loo without being harassed. Harry didn't blame them, but they could just give him a little breathing room.

Then, there is not to mention the school. The whole school looks at him different. When Harry is near, they all start whispering. Harry always caught snippets of what they were saying. No matter how hard he tried to block it out.

'_...did you hear?'_

'_...he tried to off himself...'_

'_...I don't blame him...'_

'_...I heard You-Know-Who possessed him and...'_

Harry was beginning to become fed up with them. Everyone was driving him crazy. He needed somewhere to be alone. Somewhere where he could think. He knew just the place. Tonight, he would go and seek it.

Harry made his way to this secret hiding area that no one would know about but him. As he walked, he reminisced on how he got away from Ron and Hermione. He couldn't believe that he had gotten away with this.

He had decided to tell them that instead of going to dinner, he was going to go the library and study and then get some sleep. Ron was about to protest, but Hermione let Harry go. Harry guessed that she could see the pleading look in his eyes. But then again...

Well, Harry didn't care. He was alone and that was all that mattered. He continued the rest of his journey quite peacefully. Thinking about the assignments that he had to really complete. _It can wait until tomorrow,_ Harry thought. When he finally reached his destination, he opened the door and entered.

It was an abandoned astronomy tower classroom. He thanked the Marauder's Map for this. This area was secluded and had it's own balcony. He looked around the room. It had years of dust caked on the entire surface of the room. Chairs and desks were toppled over and thrown askew. Cobwebs in every nook and cranny. But the most beautiful thing about this room was the view. Harry walked across the classroom over to the balcony. Tonight, the moon was full and Hogwarts grounds looked like a sea. A sea of blackness. A never-ending abyss of darkness. There were only 2 dots piercing that black sea. Hagrid's cabin. Harry wished they were out.

On the balcony, there was a golden telescope. Unweathered, untainted, untouched. As if it were brand new. Harry knew that this was some kind of charm. He reached out his hand to touch the telescope. It was cold to the touch. It made Harry shiver a little as he realized how cool tonight was. All he had on was t-shirt and jeans.

Harry looked back out to the abyss. He put his hands on the stone railings and let the wind blow through his hair. He closed his eyes, enjoying the moment. Savoring his peace. The sanity that he had at that moment.

His thoughts begin to drift. To that night. The night he should have died. He just can't imagine anyone coming in to save him. Not even his best friends. It was something he thought about, just not below the surface. He was so lost in his thoughts, that he almost didn't hear the door to the room opening. Harry spun around and came face to face with...

'_I saw you...'_

Those three words kept Harry on the edge. He had even fallen more into himself if that was possible. He even stopped talking to everyone, including his friends. Classes seemed to go by in a big blur. Ever since that night, he decided to remain silent. That was all he could remember. All he could think about. He lived in fear of what those words could've meant. Did that mean that they had saw him? Lying there dying and decided to help? That they saw him at the most vulnerable moment of his entire life? Does that mean-

Harry was suddenly cut off from his thoughts to be replaced with the voice of Hermione. He looked at her. "Harry, talk to me. I don't deserve this," she said as she looked at him with concern in her eyes. Harry just looked at her. He knew he should talk, but just couldn't find the strength to make himself talk. So instead he stared at her with an apologetic look in his eyes and looks down. "Harry, what is going on? You were talking before. Did someone do something?" Harry shook his head and begin to scribble on the parchment before him.

She looked at him. "Did someone say anything to you?" Harry hesitated before shaking his head. "Alright, Harry. If you are not going to talk, I will leave you alone." Harry kept his eyes on the parchment and waited until she left. She turned around. "I guess that means that you are not coming to dinner?" Harry shook his head. "Okay, I save you something."

He waited twenty minutes after she left. He needed to get away again. He wanted to go back to the Astronomy Tower, but was terrified to actually go back. He hadn't been back since the night of the intruder. He half-hoped that he would be alone, yet the other half hoped that he wouldn't. But he could only hope.

Harry made his was to the tower without having any problems. However, when he reached the door, he hesitated. With his hand on the handle, he thought about what could be on the other side of the door and his heart began to race. He closed his eyes. Either it was there or not. He took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

He immediately scanned the room for any signs of life. There were only himself and a spider in the corner, spinning its web. Harry sighed from chagrin and relief. He couldn't figure out the disappointment part of it when he came here to be alone.

Harry walked toward the middle of the room. He dragged a chair across the dust-covered floor and sat down. He stared out toward the balcony. As he stared, those three words played in his head. Again and again. _I saw you..._ Memories of when those words were voiced began to fill his head. He felt a wet, warm tear leak from his eye. He didn't even bother to wipe it away.

His memories became so strong, that he couldn't tell the difference between illusion and reality, Harry didn't even hear the door open and close and the muttered locking charm. He just continued to cry. What made Harry realize that he was not alone was that someone was wiping his tears. Harry instantly stood up, toppling his chair over in the process.

The person was here. The person whom he wanted to see, but never wanted to see again. This was the person who had brought him back from his deathbed. He hated this person. With every fibre of his being. From the very core of himself, he hated this person standing before him. Their first conversation, left unfinished by those three words was fairly short. On account of Harry storming out. Harry could feel himself tighten and tense with anger. He could feel the magic and anger radiating off of him, like the faint glow that rises off the moon's surface on a full moon.

Harry stared at this person. Maybe they had said all that they needed to say their first time. But then, why would they come back? Harry finally gathered enough strength to ask calmly. "What are you doing here?"

They stared back at Harry coldly. They could see the coldness in Harry's eyes. So, if Harry wanted to be that way, they could do the dame. "To finish our conversation."

Harry stared at them in disbelief. He didn't want to finish that conversation. If anything, he wanted to run from it. Harry was being stared at with those piercingly cold eyes. Boring into Harry, making his slightly shiver. He turned around to leave when a hand reached out, grabbed his arm and swung him around. Harry could feel himself panic. He was now standing flush against this person. This person whom he hated now had his arm and won't let go. Harry clenched his fist unconsciously. "Why? Why, when all of the Wizarding World adors you? Why, when you have _loyal_ friends who care about you? Who would lay their life on the line for you? Why, when you are the only one who can set us free from You-Know-Who? Are you that pathetic? Selfish? Dense? You have the whole world at your feet, and yet- yet you don't want it? What-"

Harry cut them off abruptly. He could feel all the tension and rage and anger building up inside of him. "You think I _want_ the world at my feet? You think I _asked_ for this? NO! I want a normal life. I don't want to fight Voldemort. It seems that to everyone, that was all I was born for. I don't need a reminder! I have one whenever I look into the damn mirror every morning. Everyday, I am poked and prodded at. In the news. By gossip and students! Well, I was sick of it. You want my life? Here, take it. I will be glad to trade places with you any day! I-"

Harry was suddenly cut off when he looked at this person. Still holding Harry's arm. Harry tried to wrench his arm away but failed. Harry was feeling too hot-headed. He needed to finish. He needed to know. "Let me ask you. Why? Why did you save me? You could've let me die." Harry stated.

"I know that I could've let you die." The person stated. They closed their eyes and begin again. "I could've let you die. Let you die without breaking a sweat. Without lifting a finger. I could've let you drain dry right there on the floor. But you want to know why?" Harry nodded. They took a deep breath. "It is simply because I despise you. I hate the way you think that the world revolves around you. And how you seem so sure about yourself and where you are going. I hate the way you just blindly walk in faith. I hate those loyal friends of yours. Who are willing to die for you and they have never-ending faith in you.

"That night, when I saw you leave, I saw my chance. My opportunity to make you suffer. Endure what I have endured for the past five years. When I saw you leave without the company of your two friends, I followed you. Over the summer, I had practiced counter-curses, jinxes and hexes. All just to use on you. I also learned ways to protect myself from whatever you threw my way. Yes, you were coming to your payday. But when I found you, I found myself confused. Here, you had done all the work for me, my chance to say goodbye, but I couldn't."

They released Harry's arm and began to walk toward the door. After he left, Harry found himself staring at the back of Draco Malfoy.


	4. I've Gone Alone, Took All My Strength

**Nothing Else Matters**

Author: Criss Angel

**Chapter Three: _I've Gone Alone, Took All My Strength_**

"_**Writing is like prostitution.**_

_**First you do it for the love, then you do it for the few friends,**_

_**And finally you do it for the money."**_

_**-Molière**_

"Harry!"

Harry sat bolt upright. "Wuzzgoinon?" He mumbled as he squinted his eyes as they adjusted to the light. He didn't even remember falling asleep in his own bed. Hell, he didn't even remember falling asleep. He looked around and realized that the world to him seemed blurry. He groped around for his glasses and shoved them on. He realized that standing in front of him were his two best friends, Ron and Hermione.

"Are you okay? You were mumbling in your sleep."

Huh? What was she talking about? Harry didn't know he talked in his sleep. Unless he was dreaming about Voldemort. But that wasn't the case. He didn't even have a dream. Or did he... "I have no idea what you are talking about. I wasn't talking in my sleep." Hermione and Ron exchanged worried glances at each other. Harry hated when they did that. That look usually meant that they weren't telling him something important. Or that he completely missed out on what they were really asking. "What?"

Hermione drew in a breath and exhaled before she answered. "Um, nothing. I was just making sure that you were alright," she stood up and crossed the room to the door. "We'll be waiting for you downstairs." She crossed the threshold with Ron behind her. Ron closed the door and Harry was left alone.

Harry threw the covers back as he tried to recollect his memory. He really didn't remember having any dreams about Voldemort. He would've remembered those. So, what would cause him to talk in his sleep? Maybe it was stress.

Harry finally got out of his warm bed and was immediately exposed to how cold it was. Even the floor was freezing. Harry quickly picked out some clothes and grabbed a towel before heading into the bathroom. He turned the knob for the shower and waited for it to heat up. While waiting, he disrobed and looked into the mirror above the sink. He looked tired, like he hadn't gotten any sleep for a couple of days. He absent-mindedly ran a hand over his scar. He sat down his glasses on the sink, as the mirror began to steam up.

Harry stepped in the shower. It was one of his favorite places because the water seemed to take his stress and worries and send them straight down the drain. But only for the few minutes that he showered.

Harry's eyes slid close as he let the water run over him. He tried to suppress his thoughts and just focus on the black space behind his eyelids. But a thought pushed forward. Last night. At the abandoned astronomy tower. His confrontation with Draco Malfoy. The words that were exchanged. Harry sighed audibly. He just couldn't grasp the concept of Malfoy saving his life. Or more like helping when he wasn't wanted. Harry wondered how Malfoy felt. Although, he clearly expressed that he hated him, that seemed highly unlikely. But it also left Harry wondering. Would he do the same for him? Would he help save someone he hated? Harry didn't have an answer.

Harry came down to breakfast. He only had a slice of toast and a fourth of a glass of orange juice. He hated mornings. Everyone seemed so cheerful and chattery while he remained quiet. He looked around the Great Hall. Particularly over at the Slytherin table. There he was. He was staring right back at Harry. Harry's heart began to race as he stared on.

Harry was angry as hell at Malfoy. What gave the right to play 'hero'? What gave him the right to call for help or whatever the hell he did to prevent Harry from dying? Who the hell does he think he is?

Harry was pulled out of his thoughts by someone shaking him. He felt as if he had been staring at Malfoy for hours, but in reality, was only a few minutes. He looked up to see who had shook him. It was Ron. "You alright, mate?" Harry nodded and mumbled to Ron saying that he had to get his books. As Harry was leaving, he stole a glance at the Slytherin table once more. He was surprised to see that Malfoy wasn't there. Harry convinced himself that he had been staring at an illusion.

Harry let his feet take him toward Gryffindor Tower. Half-way there, Harry rounded the corner and hit something. Hard. So hard that he fell. Harry looked up and realized that he had bumped into _someone_ and not something. Harry automatically began mumbling an apology. "I'm sorry. I-" he cut himself off as he realized that he had bumped into none other than Malfoy. Harry's embarrassment quickly shifted to anger as he looked at him. Draco Malfoy hadn't even fell when Harry bumped into him. He stood towering over Harry. "Watch where you are going, Malfoy." Harry said coldly even though he knew it was his fault as he stood up.

Green eyes never wavered from grey ones as Harry stared him down. Now, Harry was convinced that they _were_ staring at each other. The boy before Harry turned his face into a sneer and simply replied, "I was. Its idiots like you who daydream in the hallway." Malfoy continued to stare Harry down, Malfoy didn't even blink. "What were you thinking? About how to kill yourself?" Harry cringed inwardly. "Or are you deciding to start a cult-"

That was the last straw. Before Harry even processed that thought, he lunged at Malfoy, successfully pinning him against the wall. Clearly Malfoy wasn't expecting it or Harry probably wouldn't have been able to push him into the wall. "Shut up, Malfoy! You have no idea what you are talking about!" Malfoy wasn't even struggling. He just stared at Harry who wanted to take his head and pound it into the wall until Malfoy saw the next corridor over.

"Is that the only witty retort that you could come up with?" Malfoy sneered. His eyes glittering with hatred. "You really are pathetic, you know that?" Malfoy grabbed Harry's arms and pushed Harry off of him, knocking Harry onto the floor. Malfoy gracefully walked over to Harry and grabbed him by his robes and yanked him upright. He reared his fist back and hit Harry squarely in the face, knocking off Harry's glasses. As Malfoy went for a second hit, Harry held his hands up blocking the blow. Not satisfied with Harry's reaction, Malfoy jerked Harry against the wall. Malfoy began to beat Harry's head into the wall. After the sixth time, Malfoy let Harry go and Harry pitifully fell to the floor in a heap. Tears were running out of his eyes from the pain. Malfoy straightened his school robes and looked down at Harry in disgust. "Like I said Potter, you're pathetic." Malfoy made special care to step on Harry's glasses as he left the scene of their quarrel.

Harry lay on the floor. His head was swimming and he was happy to be conscience. His head felt like it was splitting in two. For a moment, he thought it might have been considering how hard he had his head bashed into the stone wall. He heard the crack of his glasses as Malfoy stepped on them. Harry reached a hand to the back of his head to see if he was bleeding. _Thank the gods there is no blood_, Harry thought to himself. Harry kept his eyes closed trying to will the headache away. Harry debated on whether to go to Madame Pomfrey or not. _If _he could make it down there.

Harry thought about where he was. He could go to Gryffindor Tower, or he could go to the abandoned astronomy tower. He would choose whichever was closer. He squinted his eyes as a rush of pain from his head decided to hit him at that moment. He rose slowly and staggered as he stood up. His head swam even worse standing. He wanted nothing more than to lie back down. Harry picked up his broken glasses and begin his journey over to Gryffindor Tower.

The entire way back, he reprimanded himself for not fighting Malfoy back. He even cried. _Cried_! Malfoy was right, he was pathetic. He had Malfoy at first. He couldn't even strike a blow. And he even let himself be thrown around like a rag-doll. _I'm so pathetic! He was right! I couldn't even fight for myself, _Harry thought. He felt like screaming at the top of his lungs. A blood curdling scream. A deafening scream. Then he wondered how many people would hear and come running. "No one would," he said aloud.

When Harry reached his room, he collapsed on the bed. He didn't even care that he was still clothed. Even with shoes on. He stared up at the ceiling. Letting his thoughts mingle and what Malfoy had said mingle with his own. _If I am so pathetic, why did you interfere in my plans to escape this world? _Harry thought about the questions that he had asked himself earlier. Would he do the same for Malfoy? Would he help save someone he hated? No. That was Harry's answer. He decided that Malfoy would pay before he faded out of consciousness.

A/N: Well, what do you think? I think that there is always room for improvement. Every writer has an area that they can improve. Leave a review and let me know what you think! Sorry it took so long to update. I had to find the right emotion. But seriously, I don't think I will continue if I don't get more reviews. I'm not saying that I don't appreciate the ones that I have, it just seems like there could be so much more said. And people who have reviewed, I thank you all for your input. Oh! Before I forget, I was thinking of writing the next chapter from Draco's POV. But I kinda like the fact that it is mysterious and unknown to the reader. I only will know what he will do next!

It's kinda hard getting into Draco's character. I hope that I am capturing it nicely. I am not an overtly mean person, so I get into the right "Emotion" when I write about an encounter with Harry and Draco. If anyone has any suggestions about how I can capture Draco's "True Essence," let me know!

Sigh, I know that an author's note is supposed to be short, but I just need feedback. So now I am going to end it. Seriously. If you read this last line, it won't tell you anything.


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